Monday, December 17, 2012


Last first kiss.

Saturday, November 17, 2012


I haven't written.

You missed a lot.

And some of it was really good.

He feels so far away.  Like as soon as we started dating...everything just crashed and burned.
Maybe it's because I expected the clouds to part...

I don't even know.
Annnnnd, I don't know what to do about it.

I just want him to be here.  To listen to me.  To hold my hand.

But, I can't even tell him.  Why can't I just open my mouth and tell him????

Monday, October 22, 2012

Consuming Fire

Dear Heavenly Father,

I miss you.  I wish school wasn't so crazy.  I wish you could steal me away.

I'm sorry for not keeping You first.
I get distracted.  I get selfish.  I get crazy.

And yet, You remain faithful to me.
Your arms are constantly open wide.  Continaully, You usher me into Your presence.

I love how gentle and loving You are.
I love how secure I am when I take shelter in Your wings.

Thank You for never leaving me.
Thank You for being my constant.
Thank You for never changing.

Thank You for loving me the way that You do.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Lucky Charms



Tuesday, October 16, 2012


You're super precious.

Unfortunately, you were homeschooled. I knew that wasn't all it was cracked up to be!

Finally, you were honest!

I'm so grateful...for you.  We both made so many wrong assumptions and we both suck at expressing ourselves sometimes...a lot of the time.

But, I am beyond excited!! be real.
Excited that the games are over. (hopefully :p)
Excited to see what the Lord has in store for us.

Nevertheless, I know we have a lot of bumps in the road to still get over. You're not perfect. I am certainly not perfect.

And from what I can tell...relationships, in general, really aren't our thing.
Sooooo, let's be fair to one another.
Let's show one another Respect and Honor.
Let's keep God our #1 priority.

And let's remember love is patient (I think that is going to be the mantra of our togetherness)

:) But yay a million times over

Monday, October 15, 2012


I wanted to cry when I got your "response."
But I don't have a tear in me.

I want to see you.  I want to look into your cold, empty eyes.
As if that would make me feel better.

I want to yell.
I want to scream.

I want peace.
I want healing.

But the truth is...

You have nothing to give...not even empty eyes...

Saturday, October 13, 2012



It's a game my brother used to  play at his high school group at church.


1) I miss you.

2) I miss how excited I get to see you.

3) I miss your hugs.

4) Your hugs aren't that great.

5) You could hold me tighter.

6) I miss how you never have any ideas.

7) I miss how we can drive together for what seems like forever and never establish a plan.

8) I miss being mad at you when you beat me at minigolf.

9) I miss thinking I can beat you at minigolf.

10) I miss seeing you on Tuesday nights.

11) I really love that you went so I wouldn't have to be alone.

12) I like when I get to sit next to you.

13) I miss being next to you.

14) I miss getting random puzzle pictures.

15) I miss hearing about golf EVERYDAY!

16) I wish I could tell you goodluck when you have a tournament.

17) I wish we were speaking to each other.

18) I wish you would've tried to find out why I was upset.

19) I wish you wouldn't have let me go so easily.

20) I wish you'd tell me how you think...feel...

21) I wish you wouldn't keep me in the dark.

22) I wish you didn't always take.

23) I wish you'd learn to give more.

24) But most of all...I wish I knew if this seperation is it something I just need to get over? Was it inevitable? Was this all we had? Is this the end?