Tuesday, November 30, 2010

cranberry sauce.

I don't know why he doesn't say her name.

I don't know why he wouldn't say her name.

Sometimes, I wish I could just crawl through some people's brain.
Mind read. I've always wanted that gift. People say it's a wish I'd regret...but I know I wouldn't.

I'd rather hear the ugliest of truths than a pretty lie.

But that's just me.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Christmas Time

I'm so glad we've met.

Lights

I remember two Christmas's ago.

I was with you.

Except, you were mad at me. haha
You were always mad at me.

But I remember being so happy. Absolutely content.

I just loved walking with you, in the middle of the night, when all the houses were lit with Christmas time.

<3

Bleh

I hate being compared. I mean, it's bad enough when I do it to myself...but when you compare me...

it just hurts.


I wish you knew how my heart has been feeling lately. I mean you ask how I am doing and then you don't even wait for an answer.

Can't you see that I'm breaking? Can't you see past this smile?

Oh Lord, I wish I could fall apart. I wish these hidden tears would pour out.
But I'm too numb. I don't feel anything anymore.

Friday, November 26, 2010

if i ever...

If i ever one day have a husband...he will be one of the most luckiest men in the world.

not because he'll have me...but because God knows i can't handle the slightest sorrow.



I am a "get out of jail free" card to those i deeply love.

.

Yes, my feelings are real.

But that does not necessarily mean they are not lying to me.


TRUE FACT.

It's hovering...

Heavenly Father, It's hovering over me.

I'm burdened.

But I'm not going to pray for You to take me out of this time of trial. Because maybe, just maybe, it is what i need.

All i ask is that You continue to give me the strength to keep trusting and praising Your name.


Amen.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

overwhelmed

I could not be more overwhelmed...

i used to take pride in my work...i used to take care of every customer...even the very small details most people would say it was okay to forget...

but now im just failing...and if it was just the little things...i think i could get over that.

But I am making major mistakes...things that could legitimately jeopardize my future...

In other words, get fired.

ah.

God, I truly don't have a handle on things...I just keep falling deeper and deeper into a hole I can not dig myself out of.

Please, pour your grace upon me. I can't do it on my own.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I love.

I love being arm in arm. With you.

dreams.

Life has been super stupid lately.

And i've been...

Well, we don't need to go there right now.


I'm so sick of everything. My patience is up. I don't have one nice thing to say.
Even though I should be grateful...I'm not.

I'm frustrated and mad.

And I hate it. Every bit.

But I had a really happy dream last night. Actually, I dreamed of everything last night; I just couldn't stop.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Do you remember when we fell in love...

We were young and innocent then.



I almost wish I could remember the bad. But, it has completely left me...all I hold is the good.