I finished my very last final tonight!
WOO!
This semester was difficult. Although, I'd say the middle was the hardest. I ran out of steam. But it definitely got better towards the end. I really worked my butt off and I feel like my hard work paid off. Praise the Lord for His strength.
Um, I got a text from my mom that Chris stopped by. It was really sweet of him. When I came home from my final he told me to wait outside. I was really thankful that he didn't expect me to drop everything...he just wanted the opportunity to see me again and say hello and that's truly flattering.
He knows how to make a girl feel special. :)
My dad invited him in...and made lasagna for us???? haha
My dad doesn't talk to anybody, but he has always liked Chris. He really reaches out to that kid. I think it's their connection to the military. But I really that. I want my dad to be involved. I want him to like who I like. And this shows me he can do that.
But, my hearts a little torn. I'm not worried about figuring out things so much. The Lord has been so good to me lately...well always. But, I feel like His presence has been really comforting. I feel like He's speaking to me. I feel like He's leading me. I feel secure.
However, Im unsure about D. I surrendered the whole thing awhile ago. Because, there were a lot of things that concerned me. One of the biggest things i've talked to mandybear about is not feeling special.
He doesn't make me feel cared for. ever.
Secondly, our communication isn't where i want it to be. I feel like he thinks our friendship is some sort of game with the main motive being entertainment.
I'm all for having fun...laughing...all that...but that isn't the priority of any true lasting friendship that I have.
But, since I've stepped away, I feel like he's stepped up. Just sending me "i hope you do well on your finals" text meant literally the world to me.
He doesn't owe me anything now...but that's the type of thing I'm looking for. J did all the grand gestures...and that's great...but it's the little things I really care about. I could care less about gifts or flowers...I just want to know someone has my back and genuinely cares about my heart.
People are who they are. And I can't change anyone.
I think this summer will be the true test. I'm not worried. I know my God is going before me.
