Him.
xoxo
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Hope
You're super precious.
Unfortunately, you were homeschooled. I knew that wasn't all it was cracked up to be!
Finally, you were honest!
I'm so grateful...for you. We both made so many wrong assumptions and we both suck at expressing ourselves sometimes...a lot of the time.
But, I am beyond excited!!
Excited...to be real.
Excited that the games are over. (hopefully :p)
Excited to see what the Lord has in store for us.
Nevertheless, I know we have a lot of bumps in the road to still get over. You're not perfect. I am certainly not perfect.
And from what I can tell...relationships, in general, really aren't our thing.
Sooooo, let's be fair to one another.
Let's show one another Respect and Honor.
Let's keep God our #1 priority.
And let's remember love is patient (I think that is going to be the mantra of our togetherness)
:) But yay a million times over
xoxo
Unfortunately, you were homeschooled. I knew that wasn't all it was cracked up to be!
Finally, you were honest!
I'm so grateful...for you. We both made so many wrong assumptions and we both suck at expressing ourselves sometimes...a lot of the time.
But, I am beyond excited!!
Excited...to be real.
Excited that the games are over. (hopefully :p)
Excited to see what the Lord has in store for us.
Nevertheless, I know we have a lot of bumps in the road to still get over. You're not perfect. I am certainly not perfect.
And from what I can tell...relationships, in general, really aren't our thing.
Sooooo, let's be fair to one another.
Let's show one another Respect and Honor.
Let's keep God our #1 priority.
And let's remember love is patient (I think that is going to be the mantra of our togetherness)
:) But yay a million times over
xoxo
Monday, October 15, 2012
Answers
I wanted to cry when I got your "response."
But I don't have a tear in me.
I want to see you. I want to look into your cold, empty eyes.
As if that would make me feel better.
I want to yell.
I want to scream.
I want peace.
I want healing.
But the truth is...
You have nothing to give...not even empty eyes...
But I don't have a tear in me.
I want to see you. I want to look into your cold, empty eyes.
As if that would make me feel better.
I want to yell.
I want to scream.
I want peace.
I want healing.
But the truth is...
You have nothing to give...not even empty eyes...
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Crickets
Honesty.
It's a game my brother used to play at his high school group at church.
Honesty.
1) I miss you.
2) I miss how excited I get to see you.
3) I miss your hugs.
4) Your hugs aren't that great.
5) You could hold me tighter.
6) I miss how you never have any ideas.
7) I miss how we can drive together for what seems like forever and never establish a plan.
8) I miss being mad at you when you beat me at minigolf.
9) I miss thinking I can beat you at minigolf.
10) I miss seeing you on Tuesday nights.
11) I really love that you went so I wouldn't have to be alone.
12) I like when I get to sit next to you.
13) I miss being next to you.
14) I miss getting random puzzle pictures.
15) I miss hearing about golf EVERYDAY!
16) I wish I could tell you goodluck when you have a tournament.
17) I wish we were speaking to each other.
18) I wish you would've tried to find out why I was upset.
19) I wish you wouldn't have let me go so easily.
20) I wish you'd tell me how you think...feel...
21) I wish you wouldn't keep me in the dark.
22) I wish you didn't always take.
23) I wish you'd learn to give more.
24) But most of all...I wish I knew if this seperation is right...is it something I just need to get over? Was it inevitable? Was this all we had? Is this the end?
It's a game my brother used to play at his high school group at church.
Honesty.
1) I miss you.
2) I miss how excited I get to see you.
3) I miss your hugs.
4) Your hugs aren't that great.
5) You could hold me tighter.
6) I miss how you never have any ideas.
7) I miss how we can drive together for what seems like forever and never establish a plan.
8) I miss being mad at you when you beat me at minigolf.
9) I miss thinking I can beat you at minigolf.
10) I miss seeing you on Tuesday nights.
11) I really love that you went so I wouldn't have to be alone.
12) I like when I get to sit next to you.
13) I miss being next to you.
14) I miss getting random puzzle pictures.
15) I miss hearing about golf EVERYDAY!
16) I wish I could tell you goodluck when you have a tournament.
17) I wish we were speaking to each other.
18) I wish you would've tried to find out why I was upset.
19) I wish you wouldn't have let me go so easily.
20) I wish you'd tell me how you think...feel...
21) I wish you wouldn't keep me in the dark.
22) I wish you didn't always take.
23) I wish you'd learn to give more.
24) But most of all...I wish I knew if this seperation is right...is it something I just need to get over? Was it inevitable? Was this all we had? Is this the end?
Monday, July 9, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Summer
I finished my very last final tonight!
WOO!
This semester was difficult. Although, I'd say the middle was the hardest. I ran out of steam. But it definitely got better towards the end. I really worked my butt off and I feel like my hard work paid off. Praise the Lord for His strength.
Um, I got a text from my mom that Chris stopped by. It was really sweet of him. When I came home from my final he told me to wait outside. I was really thankful that he didn't expect me to drop everything...he just wanted the opportunity to see me again and say hello and that's truly flattering.
He knows how to make a girl feel special. :)
My dad invited him in...and made lasagna for us???? haha
My dad doesn't talk to anybody, but he has always liked Chris. He really reaches out to that kid. I think it's their connection to the military. But I really that. I want my dad to be involved. I want him to like who I like. And this shows me he can do that.
But, my hearts a little torn. I'm not worried about figuring out things so much. The Lord has been so good to me lately...well always. But, I feel like His presence has been really comforting. I feel like He's speaking to me. I feel like He's leading me. I feel secure.
However, Im unsure about D. I surrendered the whole thing awhile ago. Because, there were a lot of things that concerned me. One of the biggest things i've talked to mandybear about is not feeling special.
He doesn't make me feel cared for. ever.
Secondly, our communication isn't where i want it to be. I feel like he thinks our friendship is some sort of game with the main motive being entertainment.
I'm all for having fun...laughing...all that...but that isn't the priority of any true lasting friendship that I have.
But, since I've stepped away, I feel like he's stepped up. Just sending me "i hope you do well on your finals" text meant literally the world to me.
He doesn't owe me anything now...but that's the type of thing I'm looking for. J did all the grand gestures...and that's great...but it's the little things I really care about. I could care less about gifts or flowers...I just want to know someone has my back and genuinely cares about my heart.
People are who they are. And I can't change anyone.
I think this summer will be the true test. I'm not worried. I know my God is going before me.
WOO!
This semester was difficult. Although, I'd say the middle was the hardest. I ran out of steam. But it definitely got better towards the end. I really worked my butt off and I feel like my hard work paid off. Praise the Lord for His strength.
Um, I got a text from my mom that Chris stopped by. It was really sweet of him. When I came home from my final he told me to wait outside. I was really thankful that he didn't expect me to drop everything...he just wanted the opportunity to see me again and say hello and that's truly flattering.
He knows how to make a girl feel special. :)
My dad invited him in...and made lasagna for us???? haha
My dad doesn't talk to anybody, but he has always liked Chris. He really reaches out to that kid. I think it's their connection to the military. But I really that. I want my dad to be involved. I want him to like who I like. And this shows me he can do that.
But, my hearts a little torn. I'm not worried about figuring out things so much. The Lord has been so good to me lately...well always. But, I feel like His presence has been really comforting. I feel like He's speaking to me. I feel like He's leading me. I feel secure.
However, Im unsure about D. I surrendered the whole thing awhile ago. Because, there were a lot of things that concerned me. One of the biggest things i've talked to mandybear about is not feeling special.
He doesn't make me feel cared for. ever.
Secondly, our communication isn't where i want it to be. I feel like he thinks our friendship is some sort of game with the main motive being entertainment.
I'm all for having fun...laughing...all that...but that isn't the priority of any true lasting friendship that I have.
But, since I've stepped away, I feel like he's stepped up. Just sending me "i hope you do well on your finals" text meant literally the world to me.
He doesn't owe me anything now...but that's the type of thing I'm looking for. J did all the grand gestures...and that's great...but it's the little things I really care about. I could care less about gifts or flowers...I just want to know someone has my back and genuinely cares about my heart.
People are who they are. And I can't change anyone.
I think this summer will be the true test. I'm not worried. I know my God is going before me.
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