i'll be by your side

Ahh Lifehouse, you know how to make my heart happy.

Sooo, two days ago...both of our schedules were clear.  And I knew I wanted to see him.  But suggesting to hang out???---I have never done that with ANY guy.

But my feelings tied into my last post about nurturing what we have and putting in my dues.
It was out of my comfort zone but I actually didn't think to much about it and pressed "send" knowing there would be no way to turn back.

We decided to go play some mini golf and I assumed we'd be meeting up there...but then he suggested picking me up...<3 heart melted.
I actually don't mind driving when I'm by myself, but I loved that it crossed his mind.

And I wanted him to see my parents...last time, our relationship was a dramatized secret...but this time I really wanted things to be open and honest and more than anything to have my parents involved. 
When he showed up at my door, I felt like he was nervous or quiet or something which I also thought was super cute.  He talked to my parents for a split second but it was enough to keep everyone satisfied. 

I also noticed he friend requested my mom on facebook today...that's how I know he cares about me.  :)
And the fact that he wants to build a relationship with my family scores major points. More than anything I've learned I want someone who is willing to blend. <3 And he did that all on his own. :)

We also decided to see chimpanzee...another clue he's taking steps of investment...what guy would sit through a monkey movie narrated by tim allen. haha I love it.

And then on saturday night...when we didn't text I missed him.  Only one day later and I'm missing him, cmon that's crazy--especially for introverted me. 

Even today he sent me this text:

"my mom was like, 'you and tracie are hanging out a lot, you dating?' I'm like, 'no, just friends.' but in the back of my mind was like...I FREAKING WISH I KNEW"

haha...exactly how I feel...I forgot to mention when we went mini golfing, I didn't know if we were on a date.  I mean it felt like a date but I'm not one to make presumptions.  So to sort of test the waters, I asked if I could give him the money and leave my purse in his car.  He answered "no" but when I asked why he said, "because I'm paying."  HEART MELTED again..date "established"

But even then I didn't want to hope in something that wasn't real so I paid for our movie.

Not that I expect him to pay for everything if we do become a couple...but since we aren't now I can't help keeping tabs on the money he spends on me.  However, if things continue to go the way they are I'd hope there would be less tallying and more just wanting to spend time together.

So this is my brief overview.

But on the flip side...he mentions her a little too much.  Not that I feel threatened...he isn't even mine to claim but it just demonstrates that he isn't over her.  Not that I think he wants to get back with her because the same thing happened with I broke up with my exboyfriend...I knew our breakup was for the best but it was still hard living a life that didn't include him.  Memories were everywhere and I could tie anything and everything to him and us.  And I know that's how it's going to be the same with him, at least for a while. 

But then that stupid fear creeps back in...am I the rebound again?????
Please Lord, help me not to be stupid.  If there is something I'm not seeing, please show me.
I don't want my heart to break again...especially with the same boy...for the same reason...