victor.

It was kinda out of the blue. But then again, he's kinda always been out of the blue.

I didn't know what to expect. Because we know each other. We may not share our inner secrets. I don't know what band he's into at the moment...but when all those things, whether important or not so important, are put aside...we're familiar.

It's like when you go to that awkward party where you don't really know anybody...and you're searching, desperately searching for someone who can be your social anchor and then you see them...that familiar face...and you know you're safe.

But then there's that other side of the equation. There is no awkward party. It's just the two of you. And you've been down that road before and it didn't end pretty...

It's funny, I saw him sitting at that table and all my anxiety vanished. I was just so happy to see him. We hugged and it just felt so right.

The night was okay...I'd say it was nothing to write home about...but what the heck am I doing now?

Ya know, all the reservations I had brought to the table...he completely refuted without even knowing they were there. I said I didn't want to date someone who dressed like a 12 year old and the first thing I noted was he was actually wearing normal clothes.

He looked really good. Handsome in fact.

And he's pursuing a future. He's committed...not just because it's "important" but strictly because he gave his word. That's HUGE for me. And he's smart...I forgot how smart.

The bottom line is...he's not the same boy I met seven years ago. Ha, he told me tonight that people change every seven years...maybe it's true.

Obviously, I've been praying about us a lot this past week...because I didn't know what to expect. I wouldn't say I have feelings for him and I wouldn't say he has feelings for me. Ya know, I don't know why he texted me when he did and I don't know why he suggested icecream...or if he even thought I would take him up on the offer.

And I'm not planning our wedding. For the first time, I haven't planned our whole future.

The truth is...I don't know what this is. Rebound? Boredom? I mean he did give up his job. But whatever, the point is I don't know.

The Lord has really been speaking to me lately and I really feel like He is doing a work in my heart and I don't want to let that go. I refuse to let anything or anyone get in the way of that. My food is to obey the Father's will.

Oh Lord, you're so good to me. Even if this is nothing, You're just so good.

Couldn't get enough if I tried. :)